note to self...

promise me you'll always remember: you're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. -christopher robin to pooh

today is one of those days. you have a plan (kinda like yesterday) and then the plan gets changed. note to self: make no plans.

last minute cancellation and so back to the glenrose for mom's assessment. she will be re-entering the s.t.a.r.t. medicine program twice a week for eight weeks. a team will be working with her to continue her therapy and she will also have time for some socialization. wonderful news! she is scheduled to start next tuesday. great. note to self: it is okay to ask lots of questions and it does not mean you are stupid.

morning phone call that she will start TODAY. good, fine, sure, no problem. fantastic, I'm thinking! dad gets a break, mom is happy, nadia can stop worrying for the next few hours and twice a week for the next eight weeks. perfect! note to self: do not get ahead of yourself.

call from dad. a little scrambled. lots of questions. swearing. waving the white flag. WHAT? I don't understand. I am confused. scared. worried. racing around like a mad woman. note to self: STOP!

and so I do...

I stop because it is not helping. I make a list. I go for a ride. good coffee always helps me think! and then I start to cry. in the car. alone. what do I do? note to self: asking self questions and waiting for an intelligent response is not happening.

and so I check off what I can do. lawyer. cemetery. doctor. done. meals? make a list of meals and a grocery list. done. cooking extravaganza will begin.

note to self: you are brave, you are strong and dammit you are smart. you can do this. (said to self as self is pulling up big girl panties and dealing with it)